This is for all you extroverted types.  I mean extrovert in the MBTI sense:  those who are energised by being around others and who process by talking.  Not those annoying people at a party who dance on tables.

Often us extroverts are a bit perturbed by silences – particularly when they happen within conversations or almost any type of public communication.  We fill the gaps easily and sometimes (or often) without warranted consideration.

In a day where noise is everywhere, where many different media outlets clamour simultaneously for our attention, where children, cars, birds, music, fill every possible audible space… silence is exceptionally rare.  Accordingly, it has become an alien life-form, awkward and to be avoided.  Surely.

But how many times have words left our mouths carelessly only to be instantly wished back?  How many times do we lose our audience by saying something mediocre when a brief moment of thought would have produced a pearl?  How many times have we missed the gem in the head of our introverted listener by filling it in with our inane babble?

Shhhh, just for a moment

French president and military super dude Charles de Gaulle stated, “Silence is the ultimate weapon of power” and I would add that those who have understood and work towards being silent when it is required in this day and age are even more set to wield their influence than those in Charlie’s day.

My own attempts at welcoming the gaps in speech have yielded good results.  When I remember!  Public speaking teaches us that she who holds the silence, holds the attention. Coaching teaches us to wait for answers to probing questions longer than we may feel comfortable, (and JUST when we are about to start sweating with the effort of not jumping in, the coachee will find one of Oprah’s “aha” moments).  Relationships teach us that hasty words carry a sentence far weightier than their expression intended.

It’s an art that takes a lifetime to master. But it’s never too early to start.  Try swallowing that impulse to jump in next time you are in a situation that offers a pause.  You might be surprised at the effect.